Why is There a Batcave on the Moon?
by WriterofGotham
Summary: "At least we have each other," Jason said as he sighed from the prison cell in space. "Yeah, I'd hate for you to die alone, again," Tim snorted as he laughed at the whole craziness the situation. The laugh echoed off the walls of the strange rock-like material. The only thing they had beside each other was gallows humor. "Only you and I can get in these stupid situations,"


"At least we have each other," Jason said as he sighed from the prison cell in space.

"Yeah, I'd hate for you to die alone, again," Tim snorted as he laughed at the whole craziness the situation. The laugh echoed off the walls of the strange rock-like material. The only thing they had beside each other was gallows humor.

"Only you and I can get in these stupid situations, I'm waiting for them to come out and say we have to fight other prisoners in some area," Jason said. He was dying for a cigarette, hadn't showered in way too long, and he was beginning to feel like his stomach was chewing on his backbone.

"You say I watch too many Sci-fi's. I do wonder what they are going to do with us. They haven't fed us in a while so maybe they're going to slowly starve us to death," Tim mused out loud morbidly in a detached way as if he wasn't talking about slowly starving to death.

"That sounds terrible. Do you think that Bruce found the mistake that took us to a different planet instead of the moon? Why does he need a Batcave on the moon?" Jason grumbled.

"Contingency plan," Tim muttered as he tried for the millionth time to find a way out. He was too tired, and hungry to pace like he had when the aliens had first put them in there. He was slowly losing track of the days as they bled into each other. Tim moved closer to Jason without thinking about it, the days had been cold and he couldn't get warm by himself. The aliens had taken what extra clothes they had on them, which wasn't much, to begin with. Leaving them in just the clothes they had under their uniforms.

"If the zombie apocalypse happens B. can live out his days in the safety of the freaking moon, Tim scoffed bitterly.

"That was the best apocalypse plan he could think of?" Jason grumbled, "Too bad we couldn't fight the leader and take over this world. That would be like living out all of my wildest dreams as a kid," Jason said cringing at the confession.

A creak sounded down the hallway accompanied by heavy footsteps belonging the lion/man like aliens. Both of the former Robin's tensed as they rose to their feet trying to be ready for anything. They both knew they were too hungry, tired, and cold to put up a real fight; it was just ingrained in them to never give up without trying first.

"Stupid Bruce, with a stupid Batcave, on the stupid moon," Jason muttered, as the aliens came closer. They snarled at them both and unlocked the rock padlock thing on the side of the rock cell. The lion/man came in and grabbed Tim roughly dragging him away.

"Hey what are you doing!? Bring him back!" Jason shouted, he tried to fight them, but a large paw sent him sprawling to the ground. He was helpless as he watched Tim be taken away. The aliens would start doing all sorts of bad stuff to his replacement Jason thought as he slowly sat up and shivers ran down his spine, this was going to get worse before it got better if it ever did get better, he thought dazed at the turn of events. He rolled his shoulder where he'd landed on it; that was going to leave a nasty bruise.

He tried to keep track of the time, but he didn't have a working watch and he lost count of the seconds pretty quickly. Jason was about to give Tim up for dead when the lion/man aliens came back dragging him by his wrists. He wasn't far off from his original thought.

Tim was thrown back into the jail cell and Jason got a better look at the wounds he garnered. Jason tried to lay Tim down in a way it wouldn't aggregate the bloody mess on his back. It looked like the lion/man had taken its claws and raked them across his slender back. What was left of the undershirt was completely shredded. Jason felt for a pulse and wasn't surprised when it was slow and thready. Tim's face had become deathly pale Jason couldn't help but notice it wasn't the whiteboy pale that Tim was naturally, this was the kind of pale that meant blood loss and _needs immediate medical attention half an hour ago._

"Tim, can you hear me? You better not die. I said we die together, not you would die and I would die later. You wouldn't be a good brother if you went back on that," Jason joked in a desperate manner gruffly. The aliens had taken his belt and everything in his pockets, bandages, energy bars, and the emergency beacon.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He and Tim were sent to check out the moon Batcave, instead, the had been 'beamed' to a different planet and were immediately captured by unfamiliar aliens. He and Tim weren't supposed to die by the paws of weird aliens. That was one of the lamest ways to die again.

Jason pulled off the shirt he was wearing leaving him to shiver, he laid the undershirt on the cold stone so Tim's exposed skin wouldn't be on the rock. He pulled Tim's head on his lap and adjusted to a less uncomfortable place for them both. The silence that enveloped the room seemed to grow louder as Jason tried to form a plan.

Tim still hadn't stirred in the slightest. Tim's back looked bad if they didn't get rescued soon...

Jason formulated a terrible plan. He figured the aliens would be back to take him next, but if he was taken like Tim... they wouldn't make it. The small hope he had seemed to die the more time passed. Why hadn't someone come yet?

Jason wasn't sure how much time passed before Tim started to wake up. It was a slow process, a few shivers, a sharp intake of breath of the thin air, and finally a loud groan.

"Hey, Tim," Jason said as shifted to get a better look at him. He was still pale but at least the cold had helped his cuts to stop bleeding. Jason could be thankful for that if there was anything to be thankful for in this crappy situation.

"Ugh, they wanted to know about earth. How easy would it be to invade? Uh, I didn't tell them anything. They didn't like that." Jason almost sighed as Tim's first words after regaining consciousness was a report.

"I thought as much. I don't recognize the planet and they aren't friendly. I swear I won't let them touch you again." Jason promised.

Tim sighed and then winced when Jason gripped his hand little too hard. "Don't worry about promising things you can't deliver," Tim replied with the tone of someone who'd been let down too many times before.

"I just need to fight the leader," Jason joked. Tim smiled a little before closing his eyes.

"It's not anyone's fault," Tim sighed.

Jason supposed that was true, Bruce had just wanted someone to check the moon Batcave and he and Tim volunteered. It wasn't anyone's fault that the Watchtower's transporter was newly repaired and was still faulty. It wasn't anyone's fault that the planet they were on was unfriendly to humans. Jason clenched his fist the pit's anger driving him to want to lash out at something, anything. The helplessness was making him crazy. He knew Artemis and Bizarro would be trying to find him.

Bizarro wouldn't know how to find him, but Artemis would call in every favor, shake down the entire Justice League and Rogue galley anyone had. She was good like that.

Tim would have the family and the Titan's looking for him. Bruce would be feeling guilty for the both of them. The son the died and the son he believed that died. It wasn't a comforting thought that they would be too late.

And he'd been doing so well with actually not being so morbid, oh well. As a child, he was surrounded by death, crime, and drugs. When he was barely a teen died, no one exempt from the one-way ticket.

Tim was still breathing albeit, shallowly. Jason was considering the plans they had deemed 'stupid' and foolish at the beginning of arriving in the icy hell planet. 1. making a racket until they were killed or released, 2. offering to a fight to the death, 3. telling them all the bad stuff on earth so they would be scared to ever step foot on it, and 4. Yell for Superman, Superboy, or Bizarro. They weren't any better ideas than when they first discussed them. Clark, Connor, or Bizarro would have to actively be listening for them. Fight to the death with a lion/man? Jason was sure in peak condition on a good day it might be possible, but not now. Yelling until they were realized or killed was also problematic. Telling them all about the bad stuff on earth was becoming his favorite idea. Staying silent would lead to both of them being killed.

Lex Luthor running and winning the presidential election, drugs, murder, the multiple failed alien invasions, the Joker, etc. Jason wished he could have stayed dead with the choices he faced.

"Tim, you better pray that I don't get us killed with the crap I'm about to do," Jason muttered as he tried to get up without jostling Tim too much. He got up slowly and Tim stirred slightly.

"What ar'yo going to do?" Tim asked slurring.

"Something we are both going to regret." Jason said under his breath before replying, "You remember that idea we had that was stupid?"

Tim nodded and Jason explained, "The one where I tell them about how dumb and stubborn people are." Jason went to the stone bars and looked for the guard that had been posted to keep them in the cell should they suddenly break through the stone.

"Hey! I'm going to talk! Let me out!" Jason shouted to the hairy monster.

It lumbered over to him and unlocked the stone padlock like thing. It grabbed him the scruff of his neck and led him to, another stone room. He was getting sick of the stone and cold.

Jason wasn't surprised to see more of the aliens there but, he had to keep a blank face at the sight of them licking what had to be Tim's blood off the floor and their massive paws. That was more nightmare fuel that he never asked for. Half of his life and eath was nightmare fuel he didn't ask he was beginning to wonder why he expected anything different.

"I'll tell you what you want to know about the earth on the condition you let me and my brother go," Jason said as he looked straight at the leader.

"I will hear what you have to say and decide whether you will live or not. No amount of begging will be enough to change my mind I am the ruler of this planet Phlerot. My mercy is small and my bloodlust unending. I could have you both killed and no one would dare question it," The alien said swiping his huge paw back and forth to emphasize his point.

Jason held back the snarky comment and eye roll. The king of Phlerot was a drama king and really Phlerot? What kind of stupid name is that for a planet? Jason as calm as he could which was saying a lot because he was on a stupid planet being held against his will under the threat of torture which had already been done to Tim. He started out trying to look submission, yet not completely weak. "Earth is a small planet that attracts aliens for some reason. Krypton is going to explode? Send the kid to earth. Want to invade? Go to earth. So far the earth had had a Justice League to keep out those that would cause harm to the people. The Justice League is a little on the nose. Mainly it's people from earth that are enhanced or aliens from Thangar, Krypton, or Mars. I almost forgot about the Amazons. You see Amazons are a breed of women that train their entire life for battles that may never happen. I know one and let's just say she's not someone I want to fight against. Then there are the 'ordinary' people. Like my father, he thinks he is a bat and fights in the dark, never in the light. It's weird. He watches over my city, Gotham with an iron fist and if anyone does something he doesn't like he throws them in the worst place on earth, Arkham Asylum. Its filled with the criminally insane. Like the Joker, he killed me as a teenager," Jason was interrupted as the king of Pherlot interjected.

"What! Are you an apparition? You look fleshy enough, quick piece his finger to see if he bleeds!" the lion/man king demanded. **  
**

One of the aliens pricked Jason's finger and then proceeded to lick it. "It taste likes the other one."

Jason cringed and went on to tell about his death, "I was only a teenager when I went to find my birth mother. She was a terrible human being and sold me out to the Joker who took a crowbar and beat me to death with it. I was later put in a pit that brings the dead back to life. I came back crazy, but now I'm mostly normal. I dress up at night and beat the crap out people that dare do evil in my city. We weren't trying to even go to this planet, my paranoid adopted father has a cave on our moon in case of emergency. Is that what you wanted to know? Earth is pretty normal, we have our fair share of aliens and enhanced people. No alien invasion has ever been successful. We are ridiculously protective of it for all of its problems and heartaches we still love our planet and will fight anyone who would harm it. As an ally we are most powerful; as an enemy we are unstoppable. I would think long and hard about how you want to come across when the Justice League comes for us," Jason finished with all the power and anger he tried so hard to bite back.

The king of the Phlerot looked troubled. Jason may not have been the best detective but he could tell about what the king was thinking he had two humans from earth that didn't back down he personally beat the smaller to no avail and the older had too much to tell. Jason knew if it didn't work he and Tim would be killed and maybe never found by the Justice League.

There was a distinctive thud and the rock floor beneath them shook as though the entire planet was going to crumble to mere pebbles. Jason lurched forward to avoid the lion/man that pricked his finger from falling on him. The next thing he knew the lion/man king was running as fast as he could with the key to the prison cell that Tim was in. Jason staggered after him, afraid of what he might do. The last thing Jason expected was for him to unlock the door, "Oh good you are here," the king said as he motioned for Jason to help Tim up.

"I'm sure that was your Justice League. I must apologize for your treatment we certainly didn't realize what two important people we had. If you had just told us we would have treated you like honored guest that you so obviously are," the king prattled on and on about how he didn't know and it wouldn't happen again. Earth would be off limits from now on.

Jason helped a bewildered and half dead Tim up trying to avoid his numerous cuts. Jason was greeted by an angry Artemis and with a worried Superboy in tow. They were rampaging through the stone and scaring the aliens with the rock they decimated. The king looked ready to pass out as he greeted them, "Oh most wonderful bringers of Justice! I, the king of Phlerot welcome you! Anything you need will be given. Please spare this insignificant planet from your righteous wrath! You wonderful warriors must be the leaders of such an awesome organization." The king complemented them.

Superboy flew over to Jason; using X-ray vision he scanned him for injuries beyond the superficial. "I'll take him. He needs a doctor now," with that he gently scooped him up and flew to where the transporter could pick them up. Jason was left with Artemis and the king.

"You okay?" Artemis asked tilting her head to the side as she looked at him.

"Fine. Is it just you two or did the whole League come?" Jason asked acutely curious.

"Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, a few Titans. We didn't all come running just because you went missing," Artemis said as she resheathed her sword.

"Thanks for coming," Jason replied.

"Someone has to save you from the ridiculous messes you get yourself in," Artemis replied as the lion/man ogled her. It seemed the healthy fear had dissipated into lust. Jason promptly kicked him between the alien's legs, "Be thankful it was me, she would have chopped your head off. Amazons don't get objectified by anyone," Jason explained as the man/lion howled from the floor.

"Let's go," Artemis said not sparing the king a second look.

"Sounds good to me. I am starving, do you have any food?" Jason asked.

Before Artemis could reply Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman came running towards them. "Are you alright?" Bruce asked.

"I'll live. Superboy already took Tim to get medical help. He looked pretty rough," Jason explained.

"Who is responsible for your treatment?" Diana asked looking at the still howling king.

"I am merely overburdened king who doesn't know much," the king whined.

"We aren't going to start something with your kind, but you will never treat another the same way you have the two humans or we will raze your planet and leave nothing in our wake," Diana threatened. The king was still shaking at the threat when they had been gone for hours.

Tim and Jason's rescuers transported to the Watchtower where Tim was being taken care of by Dr. Midnight. The cuts required multiple stitches and he was given a unit of blood. Nightwing and Robin were already in the room when Jason came in fresh from the shower eating a chili dog.

"I'm sorry you two had to go through that. I should have volunteered to go," Dick apologized as he stroked Tim's long onyx hair back.

"It's nobodies fault. If you want to blame somebody, blame the aliens," Jason said through mouthfuls.

"I still don't understand how you both were free and going to escape when they got there?" Damian asked puzzled.

"Tim challenged the leader to a fight and won," Jason replied.

 **AN**

 _This is the product of writing on my lunch breaks. I wanted to write somethng with alians and Tim and Jason. I'll try to update We Should Have Stopped at Five Soon I just wanted to go ahead and share this._


End file.
